No, no, the songs write themselves, almost.

I wish I was better looking.

'Mad About You' was very fun.

One day, God said ‘Let there be prey.’ And he created pigeons, rabbits, lambs and Gene Wilder.

Evil will always triumph because good is dumb” – Dark Helmet.

All short women have a delayed fuse. Marry a taller woman: My wife was an inch or two taller than me; it’s a sign of security.

Woody Allen is a genius. His films are wonderful. He’s poetic, but he’s also a critic. He artfully steps back from a social setting and criticizes it without – I suspect – without letting himself be vulnerable to it.

I have been lucky that some critics joined the mob in loving something I’ve done, or in appreciating it. I’ve been lucky. But most of the critics don’t like what the people like. I think they have a very strange job, and they are meant to criticize.

Look, I really don’t want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive, you’ve got to flap your arms and legs, you got to jump around a lot, you got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I see it, if you’re quiet, you’re not living. You’ve got to be noisy, or at least your thoughts should be noisy, colorful and lively.

My mother is very short – four-eleven. She could walk under tables and never hit her head.